It was a stranger that told me I was doing too much which really got to me. Not my family, friends or fiance telling me almost periodically (sorry guys), but a man who an hour prior I never laid my eyes on before.
His words struck me, made me feel exposed and almost like a fraud. He said my head had way too many thoughts (hey I could have told him that), and that while I had many amazing, even viable ideas, until I started taking better care of myself, walking my talk more, that there would be no soul in these ideas or projects. No. Soul.
Too much masculine energy, too much phawh (yes phawh, imagine head exposing motions) was also said and demonstrated. Hmm…
No this man wasn’t being an asshole and randomly throwing comments my way, but it was his conclusion after an energy and healing massage I got a while I was regenerating at a mini break in Byron Bay.
I’m not going to lie, I had to hold back a little tear until I walked back to my hut in the rainforest.
Then I cried.
I’m not really sure what exactly made me cry, maybe it was the ritual of the massage, perhaps it was the realization I was trying to do too much and even though I myself couldn’t see it or accept it, through his eyes I could. I guess if I am being completely honest (and you know I always am), I felt a little hurt that he said I wasn’t 100% authentic in everything I was doing.
Hello bruised ego.
He then told me not to just eat healthy food because I know it is healthy, but do it and let it really nourish me, to breathe it in. He told me to say no, to wind down at night after 6pm (I didn’t have the heart to tell him I have clients to 7.30pm some nights but that can be our secret) and don’t start any new projects (ie my passion project I have in the works).
So, while it did make me think long and hard over the 4 days I was there about my new project I was rushing to release (and even questioned myself wondering if I should even do it) I realized yes I do need to calm the f*ck down, but also, to not let a total stranger (albeit a divine energy healer), to stop me doing something I AM passionate about.
Can you imagine the regret I would have felt in the future for not doing something I was passionate about just because it is hard? Just because someone didn’t get my vision?
Have you let someone close to you or even a stranger (sorry healer dude) stop you from doing something because they put doubt into your mind?
Don’t fear, I have 100% taken on board what I was told, I am slowing down and now take more time for myself so I can always be in the best frame of mind for my clients.
And for the record, I am not going to let my passions and dreams sit in the sidelines for no-one!